Now the mummy tiger in me has stopped screaming "but we have a 6 month baby, nd a toddler how could they DO this to us?" I'm feeling slightly more rational. Of course they can do it to us, and its actually been done in a very humane and generous way for which I am incredibly grateful. I have decided not to tell my mum for the simple reason she will fret and I will react, probably very negatively. Its kinder to all to simply leave it. I will mention it at some point, just when I feel strong enough not be nasty.
Huge big shock, so many friends are living under the threat of it, and yet it's actually happened to us. Oh well, has to happen to someone.